No sane guy would try it with barely conscious girl with sick dribbling down her chin.

Today is Tuesday?
The Lad is feeling thoughtful and reflective. Having since written her first blog and jumped into life feet first, she is now home bound with tonsillitis.
Which is leading her to contemplate, and consider whether her live fast young attempt was a bit, somewhat, misjudged?
Not that I don't love living, but when does living become pushing it, and crossing the borders of self destruction?
I do know that I do not want to die. And I have recently made some decisions that could have ended that way, (I attempted to drive on the friday that I am about to discuss, but I had a lovely friend who saved my big backside).

A while back I drank myself into a drunken stupor and lost my purse, I was gutted and so disappointed in myself, as I truly see myself as responsible and am usually so good with my things.
To my absolute joy I got my purse back, a lovely stranger found it and dropped it round mine having looked at the address on my provisional. It felt like the Gods were giving me a second chance!
I then swore to watch what I drank and to never get that bad again.

So, guess what I did last friday? I drank to the point of being sick in the shower, my garden and the sink, among other places. (The last two locations I only know from what I have been told)

I am now 4 days away from my 18th birthday with a big party planned, on a 10 day antibiotic course for the tonsilitus, (that we are trying to work out how I can drink around), and cannot go back to college until this wonderful rash subsides, and yeah you could say bad luck tonsilitus is just a bit of a bummer. But I can't help but feel that since I have been living like a man my health has been biting me a bit, the smoking that I don't remember is giving me niggling coughs, I seem to have persistant colds (yeah go on call me a pussy). I am normally never sick, like ever, which is why when ye Ole' doctor goes "yeah you got tonsilitus", I was a bit like you what?!!:(

And I'm getting a bit sick of "Ahahaha you were so wasted then you did this" or "fackin ell you were mental last night"

I am going to admit I am still trying to work out what life is about. I am really not good at balance, I'm pretty all or nothing, which seems to be why I can't seem to find many balances in my life. So I now know that the answer does not lie in getting drunk in the weekend, or alcohol in general, my drunk mother could have told me that.
So, I think I will cross that off my list of living.

Kids, please, drink responsibly. I am just lucky that I have amazing friends who put me to bed, watch my breathing, and guys that you can actually trust if you pass out around them. (To be honest you would hope no sane guy would try it with barely conscious girl with sick dribbling down her chin, but apparently not...) You know what I'm chatting.

Signing owwwt.