I have a blog..?!

Life update: Finished pretty poor year long Marketing apprenticeship in private girl's school. Sat waiting for baby oil to sink in, in all my spare time!
So much seams to have have happened since I last typed into these blog boxes. It really is quite amazing to see how you felt at that time, the person that you are/were. I guess that's the amazing part of writing these things, like diary's, accept some how less gay. I believe my previous blogs have been removed from prying eyes, I wasn't in an amazing place when I wrote them.

I have come along way from the word's I last wrote. I left University, panicked, cried, argued with the academic family members, realised that sometimes in life there is no plan B, and you just have to jump, realised I was in fact ill at that point in my life. I panicked some more, got said apprenticeship (looked wonderful on paper...but I was managed by a woman who didn't want me there in the first place... disaster recipe duh!), I got help I will say, I grew, I cried more over the year, but eventually I started to smile, started to see that once this year was over I would be free again to make more choices and learn a bit more about me.
Wow long sentence alert!

So I am free again. I know I have grown a lot in the past year, not necessary grown up, but grown in some direction or another. I am so much more confident. The scariest things to me have already happened. I was terrified of the idea of plans not working and just being... a bum? Unemployed... floating.. whatever! Probably because my family insists on logic, plans, and when you say "I don't know what next" you can see the sweat on their foreheads. No one ever said to me,
"It doesn't matter if you don't know, just as long as you're happy... you'll work it out". That was really all I needed to hear, but I learnt that for myself, so we won't go down that looong road!

Self pity and reflecting aside, I finished beginning of May, I said that I would take May off, for me, to sun/laze/exercises/read/ whatever the fudge I wanted that I couldn't do while working full time. Come June I will start to be constructive, we have a room full of things to Ebay, and I want to prove to myself that I have some business acumin. I have a place at anther University in October. I have mixed feelings on whever this is what I want. (Why did I apply people might ask, those people will also be aware, in this climate, there really is not a lot else. It is either shop job, admin - blurgh, University, or start your own business) By October I want to feel pretty good about what I am doing next, so that is my mission. In the mean while I'ma go get some sun and get dressed.
Byeee xxxxxxxxxxxx